Sardar on KBC

Santa Singh at KBC

Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.

Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…

Amitabh Bachchan: Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…

Santa Singh gets Tense…
Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan ? Your options are…
A) Amitabh Bachchan B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar) D) Sanjeev kumar

Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He’s quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.

Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.

Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?

Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…

Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…

Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:
B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar)

Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…

Santa Singh: I would like to use my last life line too - Phone A Friend…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??

Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…

Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan (Thanks to AirTel )

Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?” receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..
GUESS WHY????????? ??
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?”

How to answer unusual questions asked of Indians

To help the new wave of incoming students from India,
here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians
as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English.
So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would
let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously.
That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency.
We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard work.

Q. Indians cannot beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet.
So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the
population of the country, the government is trying to encourage
everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing.
That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Laloo Jokes

LA LOO JOKES

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
"Marriage"

* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/

Sardar's Y2K Solution

Report submitted by Banta Singh to his manager after completing his Y2K
verification task.

Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on
budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data
files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to
report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs
and all data to reflect your new standards:Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of
this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help
in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to
do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerely
Banta Singh
Y2K Project Leader